2012: My year in review

- Some random awards I just made up for the 260 films I watched this year!

Welcome readers, I really enjoyed looking through all of the films I viewed to select the best and even the worst films for me in 2012. Thanks for reading and I'll hopefully see you all in 2013.

Movie Review #41 Rise of the Guardians (2012)

- 20% Christmas movie

Dreamworks is at it again and this time they didn't even even take off a Pixar flick, though I'll give some time for Pixar to take off this movie. In any case Dreamworks has, in my opinion, been the bigger budget in voice actors but has less bang for your buck when it comes to story and even sometimes animation. Not that I'm taking a hit at Dreamworks animation department, but I feel that for the most part it is second place to Pixar. But here we are with an almost Christmas movie from Dreamworks and Pixar had their summer blockbuster with Brave.

Movie Review #40 The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)

- When rap music entwines with Asian cultures

We've got ourselves another weird one here folks. I've seen a few movies over the years that mix the mean streets of inner-city youth along with the quiet flow of honour and law of some Asian cultures. For example Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999), albeit that took place in America with Asian culture, our movie today is a full-blown Asian movie with one rapper in a critical role and a soundtrack that is almost entirely rap music. Wire jumping, enough martial arts to shake a stick at, and some really terrible acting by almost all counts.

Movie Review #39 The Bourne Legacy (2012)

- The box office showed there would never be just one

I loved the first three Bourne films, though I felt as each one went by the next was certainly a little weaker, but then maybe I just love Franka Potente too much for my own good? Well we're back for the fourth film, after Matt Damon said he was done with the series, especially with Paul Greengrass not taking the helm for this one, and with a couple of years in limbo one would assume after some crazy rewrites we have The Bourne Legacy. The story takes place mostly during the timing of The Bourne Ultimatum but by the end of it it is after the fact so it is, in fact, a sequel not a concurrent movie or a prequel. This may be important to some people as without this knowledge and understanding of the previous three movies the first hour of this movie is going to be pretty messy for those of you new to the series.

Movie Review #38 Ted (2012)

- This ain't no kids movie

I figured it was just about time for another comedy, but could Ted be the movie to ruin my recent run-ins with bad comedies? I find a lot of live-action comedy movies that are about a couple are pretty much cannon fodder for date movies or watched by the people who don't have an exciting life and stayed in their pajamas all day. Yeah we're all guilty of watching those kinds of movies for both of those reasons, and for me I watched Ted because of the latter. On the plus side, however, the movie was headed by Seth MacFarlane (director, writer, voice) who continually makes me laugh and the movie has some decent star power.

Movie Review #37 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012)

- Vamps, wolves, children, oh my!

I'll start this review by saying that I have seen all of the previous movies of the Twilight saga, and that most of them were by my account atrocious, skimming the bottom of barrel of bad movies. The earlier ones contain some of the worst acting and after seeing other movies that contain the perpetrators I can more easily blame directors and writing on their bad performances which may help me appreciate the actors in other roles but it won't help at all in this series. Fight sequences if you can call them are pretty poorly designed in previous movies along with a slew of other problems, some of them were figured out and fixed and others are a mainstay of the series. I'll discuss all of it down yonder.

Movie Review #36 Skyfall (2012)

- Review, Movie Review

With a wide variety of bad guys, multiple actors playing the pivotal role of James Bond, and even when there was a dud (I won't be mentioning my least favourites, no need to cause a stir this early into a review) none of the Bond movies could be financially bad because here we are today with another movie to the series with another five contractually obligated to be filmed. What I'm saying is, love or hate the series, it isn't going anywhere so you might as well jump on board with Bond, James Bond.

Movie Review #35 Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

- Childlike and maturely romantic

Although I caught this movie a few months back, it sort of got pushed to the side for reviews of other things, but since I had a bit of a lull before the upcoming November movies really get rolling, I decided to review this now. Like so many artistic and arguably misunderstood directors and writers, I had not seen a Wes Anderson movie so, thankfully, I was going into the unknown. Something I prefer to do when going into all movies (though obviously incapable of doing so for so many) I never looked at the cast, nor did I know the genre. All I knew was that it was made by “the guy” who did The Royal Tenenbaums. So really when you look at the title Moonrise Kingdom, you can't blame me for thinking I might be getting a fantasy movie. While there certainly are small parts that could be called fantasy, it is hardly that. In any case, I digress.

Movie Review #34 Cloud Atlas (2012)

- Six movies in one!

I saw the trailer for Cloud Atlas and was pleasantly surprised by the fact that I really wasn't sure what the movie was about and only that Tom Hanks was playing more than one role, and that the Wachowskis (Lana, Andy) was involved along with the Tom Tykwer, the director from one of my favourite films (Run Lola Run). To be honest after the poor taste in my mouth left from the Matrix series and the shocking fact that I don't really love Tom Hanks, it is safe to say I went into Cloud Atlas with trepidation. I mean its run time was 2 hours and 52 minutes, and it had quite a few things that I was afraid of based on previous encounters with the various actors and directors.

Movie Review #33 Sinister (2012)

- An attempt at found footage horror, yet again.

For my last review in October, I felt it appropriate that I review a movie that at least was supposed to be scary and of course there will always be some studios that feel their movie is the most Halloween-spirited even though they contain nothing remotely having to do with the special occasion. As you may already know, there were two big Halloween contenders this year. Paranormal Activity 4 and new kid on the block Sinister; who was brought to you by the people who originally gave us the aforementioned Paranormal series, so not really as new as one would hope.

Movie Review #32 This Means War (2012)

- Can the perfect date movie be made?

I don't much partake in “date movies”, mostly because I can't see how a movie is a good date. I want to watch it in silence but a date is where you get to know someone. No, this kind of movie to me should be advertised as a movie that a stereotypical male and female may enjoy. Although that sounds terrible and I just said it so maybe date movie just means that and they don't really mean you have to be on a date to see it. Whew, I should have digressed three sentences ago. Okay. This Means War, does it contain all the action, explosions and suave super machismo action stars along with a sexy, sleek femme fatale? Does the movie have a gripping love story based around ideals of the perfect sexy man with a chiseled chest and chin showing the independent lady that her heart can have anything she wants? Laughably, no. This movie does not contain most of those things; it tries for the most part but stumbles in almost every instance.

Movie Review #31 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

- when fun and hate collide

The series is at its fifth movie with this film but has the series gone sour you may ask yourself? Well, it's hard to go sour when each movie basically reboots itself in some manner. But fret not readers, I believe this movie is on par with the first movie (the best of the lot). With more money than you can shake a stick at being poured into these movies, there is a lot of flash and bang for your viewing pleasure. That is not to say, however, that this movie is without faults, serious loopholes, convenient sequences and, for an added bonus, incredibly stupid scenes that will drive you batty!

Movie Review #30 The Master (2012)

- Who is your master?

First on a personal note, I'd like to thank those who read my reviews from black and white month. Overwhelming success, especially when looking at the hits for my Persona review, so thanks!

I was invited to watch The Master with a friend and really I couldn't see any reason not to watch it. It has a pretty solid cast, and a director who is meticulous, which is certainly something that I can understand. While I have seen very few movies by director Paul Thomas Anderson (PTA) of the ones I have seen, I wasn't bored even if the story wasn't my thing. He might just bring the best out of his cast, and so when added with actors whom I already appreciate going into the movie, I couldn't see why it wouldn't be my money's worth...

Movie Review #29 Strangers on a Train (1951)

- Perhaps not his best, but Hitchcock still delivers.

When I decided to do a black and white film month back in March, I thought yeah, I'll dive into some classics and give them quite the lashing. But, as you can see from the previous three reviews, I've seen nothing but good to great films. While Chaplin's comedy didn't quite resonate with me, Persona isn't for the everyday viewer and The Apartment doesn't dive deep into serious issues, each certainly have cause to view and this week's is no different with the twisted mind of one Alfred Hitchcock.

Movie Review #28 The Apartment (1960)

- Romance Comedy, not so light-hearted.

I sat down to watch this film along with Some Like It Hot, both directed by famed director Billy Wilder. Both movies were also co-written by Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond. However, after watching Some Like It Hot, I almost dreaded watching The Apartment. I felt Some Like It Hot played out too many stereotypes and the believability of all the hi-jinx was rather difficult. But, in essence they were both romantic comedies from the outside looking in and so, I flicked on The Apartment. I can safely say that The Apartment was far superior, an engaging romantic comedy with some serious undertones that aren't just there for a few free laughs.

Movie Review #27 Persona (1966)

- Playing with your mind for two hours

I'll admit that when I first sat down to watch Persona, I hadn't watched any Ingmar Bergman movies nor had I any idea who that was. So when I first sat down to watch Persona the only thing I knew was that it shared its name with a video game and that was all. So calling me an unknowing viewer was probably an understatement. Of course now, some two years later I have watched more Bergman movies due to again the IMDb Top 250 and have been ever so pleased with what I have seen from him. It is my opinion that Persona is the best work I have seen by him thus far (The Seventh Sign and Wild Strawberries).

Movie Review #26 The Kid (1921)

- A light-hearted laugh with a serious undertone

When I started this blog back in February, I really wanted somewhere to throw down my thoughts about particular movies in a venue that didn't have a character limit, and with an added bonus could get a reader base that was not just limited to my circle of friends. To that point I have been successful, however another goal, not as apparent, was that I wanted an excuse to watch older movies, as I had seen very few movies made prior to my creation on this earth. Last year I started watching the “greats” and since then I have been watching many of the IMDb's Top 250, and so all this month I'll be reviewing old black and white films that just happen to be on that list and you can compare my rating to theirs. I figured I'd start with a real oldie on this special month, a movie from 1921 to be exact. Yes, Charles Chaplin's first full feature and a 91 year old film. So, not to state the obvious, but it's a silent film by a great slapstick comedian.

Movie Review #25 The Expendables 2 (2012)

- The 80s action film will never die.

Prior to the first Expendables movie I was sure that I was in for a feast for my eyes, a collective hodgepodge of destruction and star power. What I got from the first one was a messy star-studded action film that came out with no memorable lines and only a few short action sequences that were above the normal. What could the sequel bring that the first didn't deliver on? I was going into this movie with tepid anticipation, to say the least. If you have read my other sequel based movie reviews, you'll notice that for me, bad movies spawn worse movies, but I always give a movie a chance or two (though sometimes years in between). In Expendables 2 I was promised more Bruce Willis, more Arnold Schwarzenegger and the addition of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. Maybe with this boost in star power and the change of writers they'll nail this action extravaganza.

Movie Review #24 Battleship (2012)

- We want you! (To sit through this movie)

Every time I have a string of acceptable or downright enjoyable movies, I never sit back and enjoy the time I had with them. It isn't until I get to a horrible movie that I look back at them and wish I was still watching those movies. Thus begins my review of Battleship. This movie was based off of Hasbro's board game of the same name. The movie is just over 2 hours long and if you have ever played the board game you already know that the movie couldn't possibly have 2 hours of references and it doesn't. So if you're looking for a deep rich movie that brings back those fond memories of you playing the board game, forget it. Someone bought the name and literally threw in a couple throwbacks to the script that was probably written years before. This was a big goofy movie with a big budget, high on great special effects but with a piss-poor story that sends its viewers mixed messages about who is the bad guy.

Movie Review #23 Cabin In The Woods (2011)

- If you actually use every cliché in the book, is that a cliché?

I'm going to try another horror movie on my blog here again. I am hoping that my last and only horror movie review, Mother's Day, did so poorly for hits because it wasn't quite a current movie. Or perhaps I am just bad at reviewing horror movies due to my dislike of the genre “torture porn” horror movies. It is then with great pleasure that this week I'll be reviewing The Cabin in the Woods. This is for two reasons. Firstly, I like Joss Whedon, not in the “everything he does is fantastic” way, but in the “he has had some decent stuff so I'll give him a chance” kind of way. Secondly, Joss Whedon described the film as an attempt to rejuvenate the horror genre, which he and director/co-writer Drew Goddard felt had “devolved” with the uprising of “torture porn”. Pretty bold words, right? Nobody can just let that sit like that. You have to see what he's selling when you say something like that, so here we go.

Movie Review #22 Brave (2012)

- Pixar's foray into the dynasty of Disney Princesses

By this time (some 17 years since their first full feature film) the viewing public is generally attuned to the fact that Pixar has gotten their successful movie formula down to a perfect science. At least that's what you would say till 2011. Since then they have made Cars 2. I only recently watched Cars itself and was pretty shocked at how for a majority of the movie I just couldn't care about anyone and only grew fond of the characters just in time for the credits. If the first one was bad, how much worse must the second be? But fear not! Pixar shouted, we're back to our regular programming with Brave, a movie about a strong female princess who doesn't need any Prince Charming to protect her. With the dud of Cars out of the way Pixar was in shape for the great resurrection to form.

Movie Review #21 Wrath of the Titans (2012)

- a sequel to a remade movie

Not that I'm inherently against remakes but I certainly didn't think this particular film was going to impress me much since the remake of Clash of the Titans was so poor in so many ways. What was up with the blindingly poor love interest angle shoved into the movie anyway? No, if you enjoyed the remake of Clash, it probably had to do with the computer generated creatures or maybe you just really like screaming “unleash the kraken” at appropriate and inappropriate times.

Movie Review #20 The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

- A trilogy rises

This is it, Christopher Nolan's last Batman movie, a movie that was so anticipated that the midnight showing in many places was sold out up to six months in advance. We all know what Batman (played by Christian Bale) is, nobody lives under a rock so I'm not going to write up a silly summary of any of that, however I am going to write that this was the best Batman movie to date, discuss its minor problems and note that even at its run time of 2h45m, it was actually not long enough (even though I always dread seeing movies that are over 2 hours due to the confining aspect of it all).

Since this movie is still in theatres, and having talked to readers after my previous written movie reviews that were in the theatre at the time I give this warning now. I try to never spoil anything that isn't in the first five or ten minutes of any movie and I'm going to do that here, but within reason, this is a review you probably shouldn't be reading it if you didn't want to know things about the movie. So with that being said, here is my review.

Movie Review #19 21 Jump Street (2012)

- The 80s continue to live due to my continued efforts

I fully admit I'm a kid of the 80's and loved it, still do. They produced the best cartoons, some of the best movies (later the year I'll be doing my best five movies) and some great tv shows as well! With that out of the way, I'll admit that I never saw the original 21 Jump Street. So if the movie was trying to be like the show, I'll never know. I do know that this movie is supposed to be a continuation of the beloved (?) TV series so that might be something to catch the eye of rabid Depp and DeLuise fans. 

I haven't really enjoyed either of the main actors' (Hill and Tatum) acting chops in the past. For starters, I didn't think that Jonah Hill was 'best supporting actor' material in Moneyball. As for Channing Tatum, well, I've only seen him in Haywire (read my review here) so that was not really a great introduction to him!

Movie Review #18 Contagion (2011)

- We've run out natural disaster movies so let's drive disease movies into the ground!

If my memory serves me, this is the second Steven Soderbergh film I've reviewed. I didn't plan it, but hey, now he has a second chance to impress the readers of this blog. I've got to say that disaster movies, be it weather related or in this case, about disease, do not really interest me so the movies run along a thin line at the get-go. What interests me most is the post-apocalyptic after effects plot, the star studded cast and again, Soderbergh's directing does catch my eye (even if the last movie I watched of his was a disappointment). Contagion might not have the meat I'm looking for but there is surely enough to get me to watch it. So, on with the show.

Contagion's story overall story isn't complicated. There is a virus that has hit the human race, it has an incredibly short lifespan and it kills the infected person long before any virus has the right to do so. Through the movie, we follow the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) and its various levels of management, through two main characters: one character who has lost someone dear to him and a blogger who believes he is spreading the truth because he has all the answers. I promise I'm not as annoying as Alan Krumwiede (played by Jude Law) but I'm sure I know all the answers.

Movie Review #17 The Room (2003)

 - Bad movies can't roll back into good

I'm not even sure where to start with this review; it really is that bad of a movie. Not bad as in that way you laugh like a B movie, but where you feel very awkward for everyone involved because such poor decisions were made that there might actually be something intelligent within but it will never matter because it is so overwhelmingly bad you'd need a full bleaching of the mind to forget it..

Foolishly, I promised (and I always keep my word – sort of like a Lannister!) to watch the movie on a few friends' recommendation. I won't name them but, let's say that I will certainly be wary of their movie recommendations from now on. I'm not really sure what they were going for within the movie, it's not a comedy and anyone laughing isn't laughing with them. The characters take themselves too seriously throughout the entire movie which ultimately stopped me from enjoying the film. A joke movie has to be having fun with itself or it is just awkward. I can't believe how idiotic things were, but enough generalization, on to the specifics.

Movie Review #16 Machine Gun Preacher (2011)

- When God has had enough he sends a preacher to do his work

Machine Gun Preacher is based on true story of Sam Childers and whether it's completely true, or true with a flair for the artistic, or even perhaps just true in name only is certainly up for debate. The movie doesn't give any indication that it isn't true (no flying dragons or anything hyper unrealistic) and it adds a clear warning that Kony started in a similar fashion so as it isn't completely one sided towards the hero Sam. Now I admit I don't really care for the entire Kony thing. I never watched the video though I know there is one, I know there is a sequel and it didn't do as well because nobody really wants to be preached about the same thing twice. I live once and where do I draw the line at who I care for? The answer is friends and family. But I figured it has the action tag on it it's probably more action-oriented than gospel so I'll give it a viewing.

Movie Review #15 Super 8 (2011)

- Abrams joins with Spielberg for some on-screen magic

Super 8 was one of those movies that just didn't really grab me and demand my immediate attention mostly due to the fact I'm not really the target audience any longer. But I watched it anyway because really I'm a kid at heart and I don't really know when to say no to a movie. I went in knowing there were a bunch of kids and they were going to have an adventure and there was going to be an unseen thing that might send chills down our backs if we had a weak fortitude.

I'm going to say right away that J.J. Abrams is totally a hit or miss when he delivers something to me. I thought Cloverfield was a waste of time mostly because I was promised an American Godzilla-like franchise and nothing in that movie was remotely enjoyable like any of the original Godzilla movies of old. I also wanted to punch most of the cast and not to mention the shaky cam, but I digress. For me, the point was whether or not Spielberg could help sway Abrams back into the black.

Movie Review #14 Prometheus (2012)

- We dive into the world of Alien and NOT the world of Alien Resurrection!

Ridley Scott is back to the helm with a mostly connected prequel to the famed movie Alien (1979). Originally the movie was conceived as a proper prequel but now it's more of a retooling of the same universe kind of movie. They wanted it to draw in fans of Alien, but I guess they wanted to have an out when people screamed this isn't Alien at all! The movie certainly isn't as horror/thriller as the first one.

The movie has some tense sequences and maybe it's just that I'm so much older watching this than when I watched the original Alien but I certainly see Alien as a far scarier movie than Prometheus. I thought the entire horror/thriller aspect of the film was a little subdued and I appreciate that this movie was a mix of Science-fiction and horror. I felt both genres were mixed rather well then any one taking centre stage. Fans of both genres have something to see here without ostracizing the other.

Movie Review #13 Iron Sky (2012)

 - When you know you're bad, you're good.

Today I've decided to review something a little different.  Iron Sky is not your regular theatre going movie unless you frequent movies that contain Nazis AND they've lived on the moon for the past 60 years.  If you do, could you send me the titles of the movies because honestly I believed this to be the first Moon Nazi film.  Going on that belief, this is the best Moon Nazi movie in existence and  here's the reason why.


The movie is full of racist and crude jokes, many of which could offend you or just fall flat in general. I believe the director/writers aren't really going for attacks against any one group but are genuinely doing it just for the joke of it all.  It is about Nazis who have lived on the moon for 60 years with no interaction with Earth.  They shouldn't have any resources; but here they are, existing on the moon and we are to believe they got to where they are because we are seeing them now.  The movie explains nothing.  Your suspension of disbelief is going to have to be high for this one as it will be tested throughout the movie quite a bit.  This isn't a movie to take seriously, it doesn't so why should you? With all the moments of ridiculous action and other sequences you just have to let go and enjoy the ride because Moon Nazis just won't stop.  I know I've lost a few of you already but for those still with us, keep reading if you're still on the fence.

Movie Review #12 Chronicle (2012)

- A found footage film where we see it live... not found.

I should explain the subheading first. The entire movie is seen through multiple cameras all of which are cameras being held by people within the movie or security cameras or the like. Almost every camera is fully explained within the confines of the movie so it's like the viewer is in the movie. I vomit in the general direction of that idea. Blair Witch did it fine insomuch as it was the first time that kind of thing was done and was financially successful. Since then all attempts at the genre of “found footage” has basically killed my will to live. I didn't know this would be a shaky camera experience prior to movie start, had I, I might not have sat down to watch it. I lie, I was always going to give it a whirl. I give things too many chances to impress me and this was no different. I mean, Max Landis of the YouTube hit “The Death and Return of Superman” wrote it. While I didn't really get a kick out of that video because I knew most of the information, it was probably the most concise and humorous video explaining what in the world happened during that Superman arc. For that I must give him more writing credit than most of the writers of big comic publishers.

Movie Review #11 Shame (2011)

- diving into sexual deviancy head first.

Shame is rated 'NC-17' in the United States and 'R' in Canada, but I'll be trying to make this review PG to fit in with my prior reviews (due to my desire to eventually put terrible ads in here and they tend not to like adult content). Shame, just like Young Adult, is a movie that I heard mumblings about prior to the Oscars and then even more so when it got snubbed at the nominations. Unlike Young Adult, however, after watching Shame, I know for sure that it should have received at least one nomination (best male lead), especially since that category was really lacking in quality dark performances.

Shame quickly lays down the dark and offensive (although not to this reviewer) lifestyle of the character Brandon Sullivan (as played by Michael Fassbender). Within the first five minutes you see two sexual encounters (different women each time), multiple sights of full-frontal male nudity and a back-on scene of Fassbender urinating. If the first five minutes don't bother you, the movie itself will likely not offend you, although maybe the insinuated sexual act between two males might, but then if this actually bothers you, stop reading this review, stop reading my blog and go about your business. The point of the movie isn't to offend, it's to show the struggling life of Brandon, who the viewer is to assume, has a sexual deviancy problem. I am saying it is a problem, based solely on the fact that it is getting in the way of his work while ultimately causing harm to others and himself through emotional and physical means.

Movie Review #10 Mother's Day (2010)

- remake of a Troma movie, what could go wrong?

I don't usually check out a lot of horror flicks that dive deep into torture or gore for the sake of it but given that it was just Mother's Day, I figured the title was fitting and I'd give it a whirl. The original movie “Mother's Day” is a Troma Entertainment movie made some 30 years ago by the main driving power, Lloyd Kaufman. Troma films are known for roughly only two things, the worst acting you've ever seen and far beyond the tolerable in amounts of disgusting imagery. They are single -handedly the reason movies like the Saw franchise were made, the only difference being that the Saw franchise has financial backing into its creation, promotion and distribution. This review is not going to do a comparison of the old and new version. I haven't seen the original (though I've heard they are really quite different) and as I'm sure you have gathered I have no real desire to do so. I'll be sticking strictly to the new one.

Movie Review #9 Young Adult (2011)

- A character study of the high school prom queen 18 years after the fact.

There are always a few films that get mentioned around the Oscar Awards ceremony that got snubbed and they “totally deserved” a nomination/award. I heard about a few of these such films this year, one of them being 'Young Adult'. Come Oscar nomination time, I compose a list of all the movies nominated and check off the ones I've seen, the ones I need to see before Oscar night and I take note of the movies that nominations got lost in the mail. To jump ahead in the review, I guess I can see why people wanted the movie to get recognition, I just don't know what Oscar it should have been up for. Best supporting actor maybe?

The movie is really just awkward and painful to watch, not in that it's a bad movie but in that the characters Mavis (Charlize Theron) and Matt (Patton Oswalt) are so jaded and broken as characters you feel terrible that these kinds of people exist and flow through the world that seems so different from ours. The characters are brutally honest and filled with hate living outside the realm of reality.

Game Review #2 Skullgirls (2012)

- When the horror-obsessed and the sexually deprived meet in the ring

A newcomer to the video game business, Reverge Labs comes right at you by partnering with publishers Autumn Games/Konami to bring fighting fans another game that just might be able to keep up with the big boys, or at the very least keep the sexually frustrated up. Released for PS3 (via the PSN) and the Xbox 360 (via XBLA) on April 10^th and11^th respectively, fighting fans are in for some eye candy and some disturbing imagery to say the least.

I've never wanted to go through a cast of fighters in detail so much as this one, due to the fact that half the cast is arguably rather sexy fighters and the other half are morbidly disgusting. Double is skinless, and her parts are all in the wrong location and I'm not sure she has a face. While the sexy ones are a bit weird too, you could easily reason with yourself that they are attractive. It's not like demon hair, or a hat that can talk and has arms is a total deal-breaker, right? Okay, maybe I'm alone on that one. Still, the cast probably has something for everyone assuming you're more on the quirky, dark side of life than the rainbows and unicorn side. They are all well animated and have top-notch sprites. Not quite BlazBlue or Guilty Gear quality sprites but certainly noteworthy. 

Movie Review #8 Haywire (2011)

- Girl power, and by that I mean a woman who could kill you before you knew she was attacking.

Another action movie, but I promise I'm going to lay off them for awhile in May. When I was told that there was going to be an action movie with one of my sweethearts from American Gladiators (2008) and Mixed Martial Arts fighter, Gina Carano, I was already sold on going to the movie. Shortly after I found out that Steven Soderbergh was directing, I knew this was something I just had to see for myself as he isn't known for action movies. I wanted to see what he'd pull in a movie that seemed like a run of the mill “run till your heart stops” action movie.

I really wanted to like this movie, I was stoked as much as I was for The Expendables (prior to seeing it, as the hype was better than the movie) but it falls on its face more often than not and it's not even the fault of the fighter turn actor, not intentionally anyway. I'd like to give Gina Carano quite a bit of credit, for the most part she did her scenes as to be expected from a real fighter turn actor in a dumb action movie.

Movie Review #7 The Raid: Redemption (2011)

- Police brutality at its best.

This isn't a standard action movie, after seeing the movie I decided that The Raid: Redemption shouldn't be called an action genre movie because it transcends the action genre. Ultra-violence or artistic brutality are certainly better phrases to describe what I saw.

The movie is a macho descent into gratuitous muay thai for just about 90% of the movie. There is a story but it's almost as if they worked on the story for five minutes, called it a day and went to work on the action. It's men showing off what the human body can do or at least what the body can do in a fictional world, as very little wire work was done – if any. This is noteworthy as the trailer for the movie boasts "from the company that brought you Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and I can't believe you'd try to make that connection. That is an artistic action movie where the action is fluid, and flows in almost a gentle beautiful fashion. The Raid: Redemption is fluid, but it's blood that is flowing and it's fast paced and harsh. Broken backs, stab wounds just about anywhere you can think, bullets flying and abstract weapons used in the most unsavoury ways.

Movie Review #6 The Hunger Games (2012)

-Another book series brought to life by talkies.

I'll start off with the fact that I have not read any of the books in this series. I know the title, and I have the feeling that people are latching onto the book series to a fashion not unlike Harry Potter or the Twilight series (the only thing the three series have in common is that they could be broadly categorized as fantasy) and that was what I had going into the movie.

Pretty quickly I found out it had similar aspects to movies that I enjoyed like Battle Royale and The Running Man. This is not so much a good or bad thing, just an observation, not every single movie needs to have an earth-shattering never seen before story that blows you away. The three movies mentioned prior all have different reasons for being completely different characters within the similar premises and budgets that are almost not comparable. The Hunger Games contains a lot of flash and bang for its buck. There are quite a few instances of CGI in a movie that I thought (due to not reading the books) was going to be a little more grounded.

Game Review #1 Bastion (2011)

- Play-by-play video game playing.

I wanted to start the video game reviews on my blog with a game that was on the three big consoles, but the only worthy ones were MegaMan 9 and 10 and honestly nobody needs to hear me talk about those anymore. So I picked a game that isn't on all consoles but I have played most recently. I've known about Bastion since its release July 20^th, 2011 on the Xbox 360 by SuperGiant Games but I only got around to playing through the game in its entirety last month. Bastion is an isometric action-rpg with lush beautiful colours, decent controls and a good mood-setting soundtrack. It takes between 7 to 15 hours of game play, depending on the difficulty chosen and if you want to see both endings.

If your interest has been piqued then hopefully you have a Windows PC, Xbox 360 with online capabilities or you use Google Chrome. I've only played the MS 360 version so problems, glitches and other assorted things can only be connected to that version within this review.

Movie Review #5 Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

-Why would you watch the second when the first was so bad?

I try to go into all movies with a clear head and an open mind and I did even with this one, but what I've found is that there was no need to do that for this sequel.

When a good movie gets a sequel that doesn't have the same level of production crew (director, writer, etc) the fan base will tear you a new one with outcries. However when a bad movie gets a sequel and that movie doesn't have the same level of production crew there isn't the same outcry, positive or negative. Spirit of Vengeance is a warning that perhaps there should be some outcry, because things can always get worse.

Movie Review #4 The Grey (2012)

-Taken with Wolves

I really don't know exactly when Liam Neeson turned into a sellable action star but I'm really glad he did. There is just something about his voice and demeanour that demands respect. He's hitting 60 years old now and has a bunch of action-oriented movies that I have really enjoyed.

It's quite possible that growing up in school, your English teacher taught you about conflict and the various ways that it can be portrayed to the reader or (in this case) the viewer. The Grey has three of the seven basic match-ups against Man (I should specify right now that the movie contains almost no women) if there had been some cyborg ghosts who controlled free will in a totalitarian world (awesome movie?) we would have all seven but we'll stick with vs Man, Nature and Self. If it weren't for the fifteen-year gap, this would have easily taught me 1/8^th of my grade 10 English course. Then again, no school would allow a viewing with that much gore and bad language - consider this my warning to those who are faint of heart.

Movie Review #3 Underworld: Awakening (2012)

- Fourth time is a charm?

Kate Beckinsale in a leather corset with latex pants running around killing things like it ain't no thang hardly seems like a no-brainer for great movie fluff for those who would be into those things. While I do agree that Beckinsale is a fine specimen to look at and her clothing choices are nothing to frown about, an actual plot wouldn't hurt to back up this little action romp.

Movie Review #2 A Separation (2011) Jodaelye Nader az Simin (Original Title)

- We all have flaws, and this movie isn't afraid to show them.

I watched this movie knowing only a few things about it. First, it had quickly gained popularity on IMDb and second it was an Iranian movie. I admit, my knowledge of Iran is rather poor, and I hoped that the movie might teach me a thing or two. How little did I underestimate the movie.

A Separation is about the choices made by two small families in Iran based around themes of divorce, the sick and elderly, and death. The director/writer Asghar Farhadi created a movie that shows our basic flaws and how we cling to certain responsibilities while sometimes we forget about the impact we have on others.

Once the title shots have finished the fast paced lives of Nader (played by Peyman Moadi) and Simin (played by Leila Hatami) are going to be thrown at you for the next two hours so be prepared. We are introduced to the characters arguing about getting a divorce in court to a magistrate. I feel as if the strength of the movie is shown in this scene and never really lets up. Nader and Simin are both so wonderfully crafted as real, that they seem organic on screen. None of the main characters are the archetype hero in the picture. They all have flaws that shine so brightly that they themselves don't see them as flaws, something I feel is quite true in nature. The arguments portrayed in the movie (and be warned most of the movie is arguing) flow with such a ferocity that I want to believe director Asghar Farhadi sat down and wrote out arguments couples were having. But then that might be a dishonour to the acting of Peyman Moadi and Leila Hatami who give stunning performances. Another side of the story is that of the explosive character Hodjat (played by Shahab Hosseini). His emotional rage partnered with the emotions of his meek wife create some strong sequences along with Nader and Simin. There is such life between the four that I was shocked and pleased that again the foreign film scene has brought me this much enjoyment.

Movie Review #1 Transformer: Dark of the Moon (2011)

– This ain't no original movie!

Here we go again, another installment of Michael Bay's Transformers franchise. With the three movies having an income of well over 2 billion USD, some would say it's hard to argue the movies got it wrong. However I'm here to do just that.

I don't even know how it made that much money with the three movies. From the first movie Transformers to the end of Dark of the Moon, I was disappointed scene by scene. This review is just for DotM though, so let's get started.

The movie is 154 minutes long. I'm going on the record as a fan of action movies, that if your movie is going well over 2 hours and it's supposed to be a fun action movie, you are doing it wrong. By the end of the movie, all the explosions are dull. You've desensitized your audience and that's the thing with Michael Bay, He LOVES explosions; bloody well loves them as much as he does making them pointless. Which brings me right to the next problem of this movie: crude jokes and gratuitous camera shots. There are quite a few examples throughout, but the two sequences that are the worst are 1) when the mother Judy Witwicky (Julie White) talks to her son about how well-endowed he must be and 2) the entire introduction to Carly Spencer pants-less (played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) and as far as first impressions go, this is a rather tacky one; a sure sign of what Huntington-Whiteley has to hope for in her short movie career.