Movie Review #25 The Expendables 2 (2012)

- The 80s action film will never die.

Prior to the first Expendables movie I was sure that I was in for a feast for my eyes, a collective hodgepodge of destruction and star power. What I got from the first one was a messy star-studded action film that came out with no memorable lines and only a few short action sequences that were above the normal. What could the sequel bring that the first didn't deliver on? I was going into this movie with tepid anticipation, to say the least. If you have read my other sequel based movie reviews, you'll notice that for me, bad movies spawn worse movies, but I always give a movie a chance or two (though sometimes years in between). In Expendables 2 I was promised more Bruce Willis, more Arnold Schwarzenegger and the addition of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. Maybe with this boost in star power and the change of writers they'll nail this action extravaganza.

Movie Review #24 Battleship (2012)

- We want you! (To sit through this movie)

Every time I have a string of acceptable or downright enjoyable movies, I never sit back and enjoy the time I had with them. It isn't until I get to a horrible movie that I look back at them and wish I was still watching those movies. Thus begins my review of Battleship. This movie was based off of Hasbro's board game of the same name. The movie is just over 2 hours long and if you have ever played the board game you already know that the movie couldn't possibly have 2 hours of references and it doesn't. So if you're looking for a deep rich movie that brings back those fond memories of you playing the board game, forget it. Someone bought the name and literally threw in a couple throwbacks to the script that was probably written years before. This was a big goofy movie with a big budget, high on great special effects but with a piss-poor story that sends its viewers mixed messages about who is the bad guy.

Movie Review #23 Cabin In The Woods (2011)

- If you actually use every cliché in the book, is that a cliché?

I'm going to try another horror movie on my blog here again. I am hoping that my last and only horror movie review, Mother's Day, did so poorly for hits because it wasn't quite a current movie. Or perhaps I am just bad at reviewing horror movies due to my dislike of the genre “torture porn” horror movies. It is then with great pleasure that this week I'll be reviewing The Cabin in the Woods. This is for two reasons. Firstly, I like Joss Whedon, not in the “everything he does is fantastic” way, but in the “he has had some decent stuff so I'll give him a chance” kind of way. Secondly, Joss Whedon described the film as an attempt to rejuvenate the horror genre, which he and director/co-writer Drew Goddard felt had “devolved” with the uprising of “torture porn”. Pretty bold words, right? Nobody can just let that sit like that. You have to see what he's selling when you say something like that, so here we go.

Movie Review #22 Brave (2012)

- Pixar's foray into the dynasty of Disney Princesses

By this time (some 17 years since their first full feature film) the viewing public is generally attuned to the fact that Pixar has gotten their successful movie formula down to a perfect science. At least that's what you would say till 2011. Since then they have made Cars 2. I only recently watched Cars itself and was pretty shocked at how for a majority of the movie I just couldn't care about anyone and only grew fond of the characters just in time for the credits. If the first one was bad, how much worse must the second be? But fear not! Pixar shouted, we're back to our regular programming with Brave, a movie about a strong female princess who doesn't need any Prince Charming to protect her. With the dud of Cars out of the way Pixar was in shape for the great resurrection to form.

Movie Review #21 Wrath of the Titans (2012)

- a sequel to a remade movie

Not that I'm inherently against remakes but I certainly didn't think this particular film was going to impress me much since the remake of Clash of the Titans was so poor in so many ways. What was up with the blindingly poor love interest angle shoved into the movie anyway? No, if you enjoyed the remake of Clash, it probably had to do with the computer generated creatures or maybe you just really like screaming “unleash the kraken” at appropriate and inappropriate times.